You must follow an existing order until changed by the court. However, both parents have a duty to protect the children. Please use common sense and error on the side of safety. Quickly communicate with one another and confirm your safety plan with the other parent. Don't be the weakest link in the chain to protect your children. Remember that your choices will impact both households. If one parent is adhering to State and Federal guidelines the other parent must keep to the same standard of care for that effort to be effective. Demonstrate to your children that, as their parents, you can work together and that you have their best interest in mind. Be child centered - not self centered.  

    These are difficult and frustrating times for everyone. Information is changing all the time. I have put together some suggestions that may help you navigate the coming weeks.

     A. Child exchanges should occur at the regular places, as ordered, quickly, car to car. Have a copy of your order with you.

     B. Wash hands before and after exchanges.

     C. Social isolation is important. Avoid taking children out of the home. It is best for children to be in the care of a parent or family member to reduce transmission of the virus. 

     D. If childcare is necessary, consider using an available parent first, then resort to other family members before using non-family members for childcare. 

     E. Be flexible. Try to maintain the same routine in both homes. Work together to be sure that schoolwork and other normal routines are continued. 

     F. Notify the other parent if you suspect illness. 

     G. Provide the other parent an opportunity to opt out if receiving an ill child will place the receiving parents’ household at risk (considering risk factors in the household such as elderly or immune compromised individuals). 

     H. If your co-parent tests positive for COVID-19 while they have custody of your children, everyone (both households) involved must be quarantined for a 14-day period. 

     I. Consider not caring for the children if you are ill. It is likely that it is just a matter of time before rolls are reversed. 

     J. Communicate frequently and often. Maintain lines of communication and utilize video conferencing when possible. Read books to your children via Skype or Facetime. 

     K. Come up with a plan if you or your children become ill (see below).

     L. If you make changes to your parenting plan to accommodate responses to the pandemic, understand that this is temporary and do not use this incident to create a new “best interest” argument to use against that other parent in court. We suggest that modifications expire after one week and be re-evaluated week to week. 

Making a Temporary Emergency Parenting Plan

     Temporary parenting plans focus on short-term needs and lay out an alternate parenting plan in extenuating circumstances. A temporary parenting plan should be outlined in an agreed-upon format and documented.

Possible situations to consider:

     A. What to do if your child gets sick and must stay home from school.

     B. What will happen if either parent loses their job and how to deal with financial hardships that may follow.

     C. If schools and childcare options are not available for an extended period.

     D. If you, your child, or anyone in your immediate family is immunocompromised.

     E. Determine which parent will pay for medical costs that could arise during COVID-19.

     F. Travel restrictions that inhibit plans or make it impossible for parents to exchange custody.

     G. How often parents and children should be in contact each day.

     H. How you and your co-parent will communicate regarding the temporary parenting plan or modified custody situation.

Help: 

If you need assistance, please call our office. 714-692-2000. I would be happy to host a video conference call with you and the other parent to help facilitate a temporary solution. 

Steve DeWitt